My Life, As of Now

{Most likely my last blog post for the year}

I find myself going online less often than in previous years. With the exception of looking up directions on my smartphone while traveling in the city and information on things that suddenly cross my mind and need to satisfy my short-lived curiosity, I barely talk about my life on social media. I do try to update, once in a while, to show that I am still around, for those who actually want to keep up with me through these means… but the past few months have caused me to rescind personal details from public view.

Either I am going further into adulthood by keeping busy with In Real Life matters, or I no longer have interest in participating in this aspect of Life where we are supposed to share snippets of our living as digital posts… but I do not want to start sounding like a a pseudo-intellectual commenting on the disconnect of “true intimacy” through technology. That’s a bunch of yadda to me.

Basically, I am here in my digital safe space to talk about what has been going on lately, in one long block of text–the best way I can communicate my thoughts and anecdotes.

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My Heart Is In Two Countries

Three nights ago, I attended the Is America In The Heart? New Filipinx Literature event at the Asian American Writers’ Workshop in NYC. Coming back into this space is always warm and welcoming, as a former intern for this incredible organization that supports emerging and established Asian American writers and literature. Even more so, the line-up for the event featured Luis H. Francia, Joseph O. Legaspi, Gina Apostol, and debut author Elaine Castillo, for the release of her first novel, America is Not the Heart (Viking, 2018) and discussions on Fil-Am literature and diasporic writing.

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Thoughts of a Raised Pinay

For women, the need and desire to nurture each other is not pathological but redemptive, and it is within that knowledge that our real power is rediscovered. […] Interdependency between women is the way to a freedom which allows the ‘I’ to ‘be’, not in order to be used, but in order to be creative. This is a difference between the passive ‘be’ and the active ‘being’. — Audre Lorde, “The Master’s Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master’s House”

It has been two years since RAISED PINAY premiered at the Philippine Consulate General and at NYU in New York City. (As of the publication of this post, a second iteration of Raised Pinay, featuring a new all-Pinay cast, premiered this year at St. John’s University in Queens and at MayDay Space in Brooklyn.)

I intended to write this post after the shows ended, as a reflection on the process leading up to that point. But then time passed and many things came up that kept me from writing about it. Coming back to this, I decided to discuss what has happened since Raised Pinay and how much I have changed. It is fitting to discuss Raised Pinay this way, not just from a performer’s standpoint, but from an actual “raised Pinay” standpoint; this was more than just a “show” but a necessary healing process and a turning point in my life.

Raised Pinay was a rite of passage into my womanhood, in the context of ‘the Filipino’.

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